Quite a few months ago when I wrote my last post, I included this photograph:
I added the comment that some people when looking at it would think,
To which Claudette over at ceenoa added,
Something I hadn’t considered as I don’t suffer from it but Claudette does. (Take a wander over to her blog. She does stuff with stuff and makes wonderful stuff and her photographs are a joy. You will find it here)
Whereas when I look at that photograph I think,
“Women in wet tee shirts”
I must now add,
Yep, the day after we had gone sailing on ‘Jabberwocky’ while on holiday, I noticed a fairly large lump on the right side of my groin. I was fairly sure what it was but being a male of a certain age, I thought I’d get it checked out when we got home. I was going to go and see the Doc anyway as my right knee was giving me grief and was very painful.
So, on our return, I made an appointment for the following day and saw my GP. I explained, she asked me to straighten my leg and had a poke about and told me I had arthritis. She then looked at my groin, had another poke about and informed me I did indeed have a hernia. She printed off a form and told me to go to the walk-in x-ray clinic at the local hospital where they would x-ray my knee to confirm her diagnosis and in the meantime expect a letter for an appointment to have my hernia checked out. So, off I went, had my x-ray (how good is that? I was back home within 30 minutes of leaving the Docs). A week later, two letters arrived. One informed me that I did indeed have arthritis in my knee and to contact the hospital for an appointment for physio. The other letter was from the very Harry Potterish sounding ‘Department of Hernias, Lumps and Bumps asking me to attend for an examination.
I duly rocked up at the hospital for my examination. Now for some reason, I had got it into my head that my knee was going to be examined so I was somewhat surprised when I was asked to drop my shorts! That’s why I was wearing shorts, so I wouldn’t have to drop them, not that I’m shy.
I carried out a quick mental check:
Freshly showered? Yep
Clean underwear? Yep
Neat and tidy gentleman’s garden? Yep
Good to go.
My Mum would have been proud.
I dropped my shorts, lay down and was examined. It was an ultrasound examination as used on pregnant women. It would establish that I had a hernia for certain, exactly where it was and how big. The woman carrying out the examination explained what I had to do. I had to make like a puffer fish and inflate my cheeks and push down towards my groin.
While I did this she would use the ultra sound thingy to examine the area.
The examination commenced. The result of all this cheek inflation and pushing down and prodding with probes was that I farted.
It was not discreet!
“Oh”, I squeaked, feeling dreadfully embarrassed, “I am so sorry.”
“That’s ok Dick” said the woman. ” It happens all the time. Curry last night was it?”
“As it happens, yes it was” I replied blushing, while out of the corner of my eye I saw the other woman in the room switch on her desk fan!
“Thought so” said the first woman as she wander over to the window and opened it!
“I am still here y’know” I said feeling even more embarrassed and somewhat flustered.
“Yes Dick, we know” she said “and so is something else.”
I gave up then. There was no point arguing. Two women in a room with a man who had just dropped his guts! No contest really.
As I left and walked down the corridor after the examination was completed, all I could hear was gales of laughter coming from the room I had just left. Buggers!
The up shot of this was that at the beginning of January, I went to the K&C Hospital as a day patient, had key hole surgery on my hernia and was back home later that day feeling just fine but under strict instructions not to lift anything and not to drive for a week or two. I did as I was told and returned to work two weeks later. The NHS and the staff in particular is just bloody wonderful.
I am currently rethinking my plans to become a sailor. I really don’t want to go through that again and it is likely to happen if I start hoisting sails and stuff. Something gentler I think. Learning French is still on the cards but now perhaps I should take up photography again and maybe start a vlog. I will keep you informed.
Have a great day.
More Dick soon.