Tag Archives: Dick Dastardly

An Announcement.

The other day while perusing the interweb I discovered a claim that I had endorsed an imbecile!

Following the endorsement of Democrat US Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton

hillaryclinton

by The Simpsons,

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the Republicans were desperate to find a cartoon character to endorse their own Presidential candidate, Donald Trump.

 (AP Photo/LM Otero)

(AP Photo/LM Otero)

trump; vulgar. to fart.

fart; an emission of noxious gases from the anus.

In early August it was announced in Newsthump that the Republicans had found such a character. Dick Dastardly.

W.T.F.!

While I have never met the bloke, I consider the Trump to be a complete looney toon and there is no way I would endorse this man. Further investigation was needed.

Can you really believe this shit? The Presidential candidates for the most powerful and richest nation on the planet have to be endorsed by cartoon characters. God help us all!

It quickly became apparent that there is more than one Dick Dastardly! Who’d have thought it?

There is me, the cool, sophisticated, handsome, debonair chap of the World and then there is this other bloke who is a cheat, a liar, a thoroughly nasty egg who frequently tied up Penelope Pitstop, the lucky dog filthy pervert

penelope-4

and a ruffian of the worse order. He has been accused of war crimes whilst the leader of The Vulture Squadron and is wanted by British police for contravening the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981 (as amended) for cruelty towards pigeons. Us Brits don’t mind you taking pot shots at pigeons with a shotgun but machine guns are so dreadfully unfair. Bang the blighter up for 10 years I say!

However, there is a fundamental difference between me and the other rascal.

The other Dick Dastardly is a cartoon Dick.

Whereas I am a real Dick!

So there you have it. It wasn’t me so you can all rest easy in your beds.

As a by the by, When the Trump was informed of the other Dick Dastardlys endorsement it is claimed he exclaimed; “I love Dick!”

Why am I not surprised?

Have an outstanding day.

More Dick soon.

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Beard Update

Not had an up date on my beard for ages. I still have it. The beard that is!185009

Clit Eatswood, the beaver, comes and wiggles around in it quite often and certainly seems to enjoy the experience. It’s pleasant for me too.beard2

I must admit though I’m beginning to get a bit bored with it and thinking about having a Hollywood face in the near future. I’ll have to wait for the tan to fade though as a two-tone face is NOT a good look but then again having a beard and looking like Uncle Albert isn’t too great either. I will let you know if and when it gets shaved off.uncle albert

Have a smashing day.

More Dick soon.

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Bill Gates

I recently suggested that our mate Bill is a lesbian. I am still waiting for her lawyers to contact me but in the meantime take a look at these two images. Apart from the hair colour they look remarkably similar. I bet they are never seen in the same room together. Probably changes in a phone box.

Bill-Gates

Bill DeGeneres

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Ellen Gates

Lets just hope that her lawyers don’t track me down. No point in doing that anyway just to sue me. I’m divorced and therefore have no money. So forget it guys.

More Dick soon

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