So why do my mates and colleagues have nick names? Mainly it’s because we are a group of infantile adults! Plus, to a degree, it allows us to take the mick. For instance, another one of my friends was in the Royal Navy so we call him “Stains”. I’m sure you can work it out especially if you remember Captain Pugwash.
“Banzai”, as I’ve mentioned before, is not Japanese. In fact, he is a young Pakistani guy. His nick name arises from his self-confessed habit of at least twice a day spending anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour sitting on the toilet.
How anyone can spend so much time sitting on the khazi squeezing their head is completely beyond me. However, Banzai does and he seems to be quite pleased with himself. Although we have no direct evidence of it, we reckon that by spending that amount of time sitting on the bog he must have an arsehole like a Japanese flag so rather than say, “Oi. Bumhole like a Japanese flag.”, we decided to call him Banzai.
Bumhead Banzai
As I said at the beginning – a bunch of puerile adolescents.
Now Banzai does like to chat. If asked a question, he likes to give a full explanation that may not have anything to do with the subject. Certainly, given the chance he will go back to the nano second after the Big Bang when everything started to exist to ensure his story is complete in every respect. I once asked him how many people were in a building. Twenty five minutes later, I still didn’t know and I’m sure that at some stage during his lengthy discourse I nodded off. I was certainly a damned sight older when I eventually discovered the answer was “Five”. Or was it seven? Personally, I put his verbal diarrhoea down to the amount of time he spends alone in the toilet.
I hope you weren’t eating while reading this post. My apologies if I’ve put you off your scoff.
Have a great day.
More Dick soon.
iplonker 
You must be logged in to post a comment.