Tag Archives: Blizzard Beach

Holiday report II

We are still here. The authorities have not deported us yet. Of course just because we are on holiday doesn’t mean that the rest of our world stops. Upon our arrival PIL decided we should eat more healthily. In America? Land of the ginormous portions? Yep. PIL decided that both Ed and I should stop taking sugar in our tea. The only sugary things in the house are Krispy Kreme donuts that we hide in the shopping trolley every time we go to the supermarket. PIL gets the serious hump about it and gets really annoyed if we eat one.

PIL

PIL

And really, really ticked off when we leave the empty box in the fridge!

While we’ve been here Ed received notification of his degree result. On tuesday 21st July he will graduate from the University of East Anglia with a 2:1 in Business Management. PIL and I are chuffed to bits. Ed’s pretty happy too! We will be at his graduation ceremony and we will undoubtedly have a bit of a cry.

Wednesday:

Today we descended upon the other part of Universal Studios: Islands of Adventure.Island of Adventure

This is where Harry Potter, Ron and Hermione hang out.Harry Potter

There’s other stuff as well but we decided to get Hogwarts out the way before it got packed. (And boy, did it get packed!) Here you can buy a complete Hogwarts school uniform and people did. You can buy all kinds of wands and people did and then stood practicing casting spells with their new wands. I didn’t have the heart to tell them that they were just pieces of stick that some enterprising bloke had picked up off the forest floor and no matter how well they waggled their wand they would not ever cast a spell because it’s not real. Any story where a ginger kid has two mates has got to be fantasy. We went on rides and walked hither and whatever the other word is that goes with hither. We scoffed about two cows worth of meat

Our lunch

Our lunch

and two acres worth of spuds converted into chips, drank drink until we could drink drink no more. It was blinking hot. We had a great time again.

Thursday:

Blizzard Beach. This is a great water park. It has the most frightening water slide ever.

The "Crap Your Pants" water slide at Blizzard Beach. I think Disney call it something else.

The “Crap Your Pants” water slide at Blizzard Beach. I think Disney call it something else.

Not only does this ride scare the crap out of you it does two other things:

1. It gives you a huge wedgy that takes for ever to pull your trunks out of your bottom as the crotch of your trunks is up around your tonsils and

2. It gives you a dreadful enema if you’re not careful. Fortunately, Disney has realised this and has a great many rest rooms nearby.

I did not go on this slide. It takes an eternity to walk up about a gazillion steps to get there and I could not be arsed. The kids did though and loved every second of it. However, Blizzard Beach does have a lot of other water features and slides most of which we went on. The best is a very pleasant and gentle meander in a rubber ring around the whole site called Cross Country Creek. We all went on that several times during the day.

Cross Country Creek

Cross Country Creek

We chomped our way through a least one cow, a sheep and a pig during our visit. We returned home to our house on the golf course completely knackered, bloated and very content.

Friday:

Supposedly a day of rest. So, in keeping with our new found desire to become fit and healthy human beans, I got up and went for a run.portrait of a mid adult man jogging in a park

Two strides into the run I realised I’d made a mistake. I am not as young, fit and supple as I used to be. My knees are a mess and the extra weight I now carry around certainly doesn’t help. So for the outward leg of my run it was a case of brisk walk, slow staggering run, brisk walk, slow staggering run etc etc. The inward bound part of the run was a non stop run all the way home. Total distance covered 12 miles. Ooops. Missed the decimal point! 1.2 miles. They say every journey starts with a single step and how I wish it had only been a single step!homer_running

After breakfast, Greg and I went for a haircut and on the way, we sorted out tee times for another round of golf. At 10.04 precisely, the boys teed off.

Ed tees off

Ed tees off

After watching their previous round, I was not expecting great things and both PIL and I were not disappointed. They were bloody awful again. The thing is, despite not being very good at golf they are ultra, ultra competitive and got more and more frustrated as they went around the course.Todd3

Some of the conversations they had with each other made PIL and I crack up:

“What are using for this hole?”

“Last time at this hole I used a 9 iron and hit someones house, so I think I’ll use a 5 iron this time.”

“O. Good idea. I hit  a house at the tenth so I’ll do the same as you I think.”

Whereupon, they both sprayed their balls in all kinds of weird, indiscriminate directions, not necessarily in the direction they wanted them to go.

Balls were lost never to be seen again.

Gregs second shot at the ninth

Gregs second shot at the ninth

Some, however, were seen more often than the lads liked.

Er. Sorry mate. The ball is still at your feet

Er. Sorry mate. The ball is still at your feet

Usually, you can see the ball flying through the air but as they were travelling in completely unpredictable directions, we never actually saw them. Some shots whizzed off into the distance about 3 feet off the ground. Others shot off fifty feet into the air but at 50 degrees to the intended direction. Hopefully, they will play another round before we leave. PIL, CJ and I enjoyed it even if Ed and Greg didn’t.

Then we went shopping again. I actually managed to buy not one but two hats that fit on my buffalo sized head.buffalohead

The kids think I’m bonkers because they say my hats are basically the same but as I like to point out, one is Adidas and the other is Under Armour so they are completely different.

My new Adidas hat which is completely different from....

My new Adidas hat which is completely different from….

My new Under Armour hat

My new Under Armour hat

During the course of the day we managed to eat a whole flock of chickens and possibly a duck or two. Eating so much can only end badly.

Coming soon……..

Is that a snake???? Am I becoming my sister????

Have a great day.

More Dick soon.

auto

 

Holiday

Tomorrow morning at shit o’clock, the whole tribe is leaving for Gatport Airwick to get on a plane to take us to Florida. Yaaaaaaaaay!

We will stay there for two weeks when we will have to return home. Boo! Then two days later it’s back to work BOOOOO!

In the meantime however, we are going to have a great time. PIL and I will spend many, many hours on the Cup and Saucer roundabout at Magic Kingdom while the kids go bonkers elsewhere.cup and saucer

We will go to Blizzard Beach and Typhoon Lagoon and spend the day pretending to be whales. Well, I will anyway as everyone else is trim and fit. One of the those places has the most God awful water slides. You have to have oxygen to get to the top and then slide down the bloody thing. It has a speed trap on it so you see how fast you went – 50-60 mph!!! You then spend the next twenty minutes extracting your trunks from your bum as it gives you the worlds biggest wedgie. You then join the queue of other hapless humans to go to the toilet as it also gives you the worlds biggest enema! Accordingly, I will go on this several times each hour. The kids will too.BlizzardBeachSlide

Cape Canaveral is on our list as is Daytona.

Perhaps they will let us have a go!

Perhaps they will let us have a go!

No rocket launches scheduled nor any races but got to worth a visit. PIL and CJ will drag us off shopping. We will eat like we’ve never eaten before. Great. I may even take this old steam-powered Apple and post a post or two while we’re there.

In the meantime plans are afoot for our return. The front garden is sitting ready to be dug over, top soil added and planted up.

Ready for topsoil and planting

Ready for topsoil and planting

I’m going for a cottage garden effect with loads of scent. The backdrop will be a couple of Honeysuckles and the bed itself will have loads of perennials plus bulbs of assorted kinds including a load of tulips that CJ got for me from Amsterdam when she was on a school hockey tour to Holland.

This is the kind of effect I'm after

This is the kind of effect I’m after

No roses though. I am not a great fan of roses. Bloody hard work. Aphids, black spot, thorns that cut you to ribbons, gross feeders and a pain in the arse.

Or this

Or this

Unfortunately, my experiment with a slug deterrent will have to wait until we get back as I’ve run out of time. Sorry SDG but I will let you know how it goes so we can make our fortunes.

Dexter is staying in kennels while we’re away. I don’t think he will enjoy that but he will be fine I’m sure although I suspect we will miss him almost as much as he will miss us. I took him walkies earlier today and I have to say once again how glorious it all was. I loved it and Dexter had a good old time to when he chased a couple of pheasants hiding in the undergrowth.

Part of the bridle path where we take Dexter walkies. Absolutely magnificent

Part of the bridle path where we take Dexter walkies. Absolutely magnificent

Apparently I have to pack. How long does three tee shirts, two pairs of shorts, trunks, wash kit and sun tan lotion take to pack? (There’s a washing machine where we’re staying so don’t need any more. I can always buy more out there if needs be)

Have a bloody excellent weekend.

More Dick soon.auto