Category Archives: Blogging

Great Minds……

So there I am puzzling about the next subject to write about and as it seemed to be a logical progression after writing about our new kitchen, I thought I’d post a recipe. Everyone has a signature recipe. Mine is Toad in the Hole. I make a mean Toad in the Hole apparently or did my kids call it “sick”?

toadinthehole

So, using the new MacBook Air PIL and the kids got me for my birthday, I wrote the recipe and how to make Toad in the Hole. All I had to do was put the photos in and Bobs your uncle but due to time restrictions and being knackered I decided to wait until the following day to finish off. Just as well I did, cos the next day one of the brilliant bloggers I follow (and I don’t follow that many) did something they had never to my knowledge done before. They posted a recipe! Oh Bugger! Never mind, it can wait. I can post it sometime in the future. So I decided to write something on a subject that I found fascinating. About half way through and because it was late, I paused and decided to continue the following day. The following day duly arrived (unlike tomorrow, which never does) and my new bloody laptop wouldn’t let me in! Bastard. I then reenacted the washing machine scene from Uncle Buck with an awful lot of profanity, cursing and shouting but to no avail. The bastard thing just wasn’t going to let me in unless I gave it the correct password. Now my password is something that no one would ever guess in a million years unless you were PIL or my kids but it is incredibly easy for a berk like me to remember. Try as I might the bloody stubborn bastard Apple Are Shits product was having none of it. So I gave up. I decided to let the thing fester for a week or so. Weeks passed (it might have been days as I’m prone to exaggeration) and eventually I tried again. I tried a different password just in case. Nope. It was having none of it. So I gave up again. PIL said she’d take it back if I didn’t get it sorted. Then Greg said to me,

“Dad. Did you start your password with a capital letter?”

Doh! For the first time ever, I’d used a capital letter at the start of my password. I was in! But I couldn’t be arsed to finish it that night and decided to wait until the following day. The following day duly arrived and after my coffee and donut breakfast, I opened my emails to discover that the very same person who had beat me to the draw on writing a recipe had started her A-Z challenge and was writing about the exact same subject I was about to finish writing a post on. Cockney Rhyming Slang!

bricktop2

 

cockneY2

So to pass the time of day I started my Zuckerbook Facetube thing. Lily became my first friend. After about a week, I’ve decided to knock it on the head because it is such a pile of crap. I put down my likes and from that moment onwards I was inundated with every single possible thing to do with my likes. By the time I had looked at one, eight more had appeared. It’s awful. Trying to find comments was proving impossible amongst all the dross. I felt my personal space was being constantly invaded. I got paranoid. Some bastard somewhere had written an algorithm that was prying into my world and I didn’t like it one bit so that Facesucker bloke can go whistle.

Have a great day.

More Dick soon.

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It’s Only Me

I have absent from the blogging world for a little while and I’ve just realised how long it’s been since I posted anything since returning from my holidays. I’ve knocked out a couple since then in the mista…

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. I’ve just realised what I have written! “Knocked out a couple”…..? What must you be thinking of me? That I sit in front of my screen having a Jodrell while waiting for inspiration to strike? Hahahahaha.

Jodrell Bank

Jodrell Bank

Rest assured that I don’t. You’ll have to take my word for it though.

Work has been manic since my return and we have a new task that has been proving to be a bit of a nightmare. I always love it when my boss phones up and says;

“Houston. We have a problem, don’t you”!!!

My Boss

My Boss

It always means that the soft brown stuff has hit the fan and it’s heading in my general direction.

Anyway, that aside I did intend writing about the progress, or lack of it, in my garden but I’m in Wales for the next few days looking after my sisters smallholding

Boo & Guptas smallholding taken from the fields towards the house

Boo & Guptas smallholding taken from the fields towards the house

and all her critters and crops.

There are three horses,20150902_113751

20150902_113725

a dozen ducks,20150902_113333

a large, indeterminate number of chickens (they’re always scuttling about making it impossible for me to count them)

This chicken is called "Mrs Bogbrush"

This chicken is called “Mrs Bogbrush”

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and a labrador called Chalky

Chalky. Along with his favourite balls

Chalky. Along with his favourite balls

along with a semi feral cat called Morgan.

Morgan

Morgan

Plus all kinds of fruit and vegetables to take care of.

By the time Boo and her husband Gupta get back from their holidays, I suspect there may be slightly fewer animals to deal with!

It’s lovely here and it’s been some years since I’ve been in this part of the world and it was really pleasant to be driving along and recognising village names from back in the day when I was in Wales most weekends for canoe races.QuentinBonnetainAction

I might just take a wander down to some of them for a look-see and remember my long-lost youth. In the meantime though, I’m busy feeding animals, clearing out hen houses, shovelling up horse muck and picking raspberries, strawberries, aubergines and that kind of stuff. It’s bloody brilliant!

Boo and Gupta live on the edge of a small village not far from the coast. All the locals seem to be called by their job names as their real surnames are all Jones. Or it might be Evans or Jenkins or some other Welsh surname. So the bloke who delivers logs for the wood burners that everyone has is called Dickie Log, the school cook is Betty Cook, the carpenter is called Dai Saer (Saer being Welsh for Carpenter) and his wife is called Betty Dai Saer. The landlady of  the local pub, The Commercial Inn, is run by a lady called Betty Commercial. There’s another bloke called Dai Buns who may be a baker but may not and the guy who keeps all the roadside hedges trimmed is called Eaun Hedge!!! The local farmer is called John Ty Mawr (Ty Mawr is Welsh for Home Farm) and so it goes on. Boo and Gupta are called Boo and Gupta Wyndarra because the name of their smallholding is Wyndarra! Wyndarra being Australian but that’s just like my sister to put a spanner in the works! Apparently, most of the women (of a certain age) are named Betty as that was the name of the midwife who delivered them all. Electricity arrived in the village in 1963 and some of the inhabitants here remember revising for their school exams by candle light! The Interweb is unbelievably slow and it is taking me bloody ages to download the photographs I’ve taken but do you know what? I think it fantastic here. Boo and Gupta (so-called because of his love of curry. Also known as “Stink” when he’s had a curry!) dreamt about having this life for many, many years and they achieved it 6 years ago and I envy them. It’s not easy but it is plain to see that they are living the dream.1926889_654140781288958_206925591_n

I have to go give the clucks their afternoon feed now, so on with my wellies (I brought them along in case I found any stray sheep!) and off into the fields, the fresh air, the rain and the wind to feed the animals and think some thoughts.

Have a smashing day.

More Dick soon.auto

The Jolly Good Blogging Award


jollygoodbloggeraward

My very good blogging friend Susie Sunfarts  has not only nominated me for this fantastic award with its lovely logo but she invented it specifically for me! How jolly good is that? That makes it unique in the whole Universe. I am the one and only recipient of this award for the whole of time or until Susie decides to award it to another Brit. You will notice the Union Jack in the background and the top hat. To Susie, that is what Britain is all about. That and that Brits wander around saying “Jolly Good” and “Splendid” or “Top hole old bean”. For someone who had never been to Britain she has got us well and truly sussed out.

I have followed Susie for some time now and I have to say she writes a brilliant blog. You never know what you are going to get as Mrs Gump would say. It may be a post about preparing her costume for the next cosplay convention she’s off too where she dresses as a superhero. Now, under normal circumstances posts about sewing and glueing costumes have absolutely no interest for me. I’m a bloke. A geezer. However, Susie writes a blog that is beyond the norm so she tells you about getting high from sniffing the glue she’s using and stepping on all the pins she dropped on the floor while bare foot and I think it’s hilarious. The next post may be about the arsehole who starts his car up at stupid o’clock in the morning and leaves it running while he has breakfast. Then it’ll be a recipe. I’ve not tried any of them but again, she has me in stitches with the way she writes it.

………….

5. Grill the meat over a medium heat.

6. Get distracted by the cat doing something stupid.

7. Play with cat.

8. Smell burning and remember you’re supposed to be cooking.

9. Return to 1 and start again because you’ve burnt the meat due to the stupid cat……

She really must publish her version of a cookery book.

The next post may be written by her when in the depths of depression and express in no uncertain terms how she is feeling and why. Her bravery in exposing her soul and innermost feelings never ceases to amaze me.

Then it will be a beautiful photograph she took of a beach. Followed shortly afterwards on her opinion of an antiperspirant container as a dildo.

Throughout she swears and curses but at all times it has a light touch (except when she’s depressed). When every other blogger was wishing everyone a Happy New Year she was flipping the bird at all and sundry. It is totally off the wall and I love it.

Pay it a visit here.

Thank you for the award Susie. I love it.

Have a great day.

More Dick soon.

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Liebster

 

liebster2

Wow. Tessa over at Nothing Was Said has very kindly nominated me for the Liebster Award. I must admit that it was a few hours before the penny dropped and I realised what was going on. I was (still am) chuffed to be nominated. I looked it up on the interweb thingy to see what it was all about. There seems to be an awful lot of different rules with this award but I kind of get the idea. It did mean that I finally had to figure out how to put links onto this here blog. Remember, I have trouble understanding the concept of clock work so this kind of stuff involved quite a few cock ups on my part.

Anyway, the RULES.

1. Thank the blogger who nominated you: Thank you Tessa at Nothing Was Said. You are a sweetheart.

2. Answer 11 questions they set.

3. Nominate other blogs with less than 200 followers.

4. Let them know about the nomination and the questions.

Other rules I’ve read have said to list 11 things about yourself and the number of followers for a blog seems to vary an awful lot. Some say 200, others say 2000 while others say other numbers. One of the blogs I intend nominating has more than 200 but less than 1000, while another one gives absolutely no indication that I can see of the number of followers – it may be 6, it may be 1,000,000. I have no idea. Rules are there to be broken so if I break them, I’m sure the World won’t end.

The Questions.

1. Who is your favourite band/artist and why?

I listen to and enjoy a wide range of music from Miles Davis to John Lee Hooker, early Springsteen, Dre and Eminem, George Michael, John Legend, Led Zepp’ and Jimi Hendrix. I work out to Linkin Park. I have been a fan of Neil Young since forever but my favourite of all time is the Rolling Stones. As a band they never fail to produce excellent music that I can listen to all day every day.

2. Who is your biggest inspiration?

This is difficult. I cannot put it down to one individual as I have been inspired by many people during my lifetime. I think that if it came down to one individual I would have to say Nelson Mandela. That bloke was just unbelievable. I never met him but I wish I had. I met a guy who worked for him and he told me he was the nicest, most humble man you could ever meet.

3. What is your favourite food?

Curry. Chicken Dansak with rice (of course), onion bhajis with sundry bits and pieces. Apple pie and custard for dessert or maybe bread pudding. Stella to drink or if it’s sitting down with PIL drinking wine, its white zinfandel.

4. Where do you want to travel to most in the world?

There are many places. I want to go back to Kenya (PIL and I got married there), North America (both the U.S. and Canada) and despite it only being a 2 hour flight away, I’ve never been to Barcelona. I’m told it’s a beautiful city and the Cathedral has to be seen to be believed.

5. If you were the creator of your own planet, what would it be called and what would it look like?

It would be called “Bob”. I have never been to another planet so I have nothing to compare it to but I think Planet Bob would look very much like our planet. Earth is a beautiful place. However, on Planet Bob there would be no poverty, everyone would have enough to eat and have clean drinking water. I would take away the pollution. Sir David Attenborough would be the President of Planet Bob and he would live as long as he wanted. There would be no place for Robert Mugabe, Kim Jong-un or any others of their ilk.

6. Are you more like your mother or your father?

Apparently, physically I look incredibly like my dad. Temperament wise I think I’m like my mum. She had a very long fuse (she needed it being married to my dad!). No doubt my sister Boo will have something to say on this!

7. What do you see yourself doing in 5 years time?

I hope that I will be sitting in my garden gazing at the fruits of my labour there before my kids demolish it again playing football, basketball, cricket or rugby. I will continue to write my blog, take the pooch for a walk every day and no longer have to worry about work or money. I will have a permanent smile on my face not of smugness but of satisfaction at what I have done and achieved during my lifetime and what I will continue to achieve and do for the rest of my life.

8. At school, were you a rebel or a teacher’s pet?

A rebel. Always in trouble. Always missing lessons.

9. Who is your favourite author and why?

I read for relaxation so I like books that don’t involve a lot of effort. I read both fiction and non fiction. Currently, I’m into Lee Childs and his Jack Reacher series of novels. A certain amount of brain cells get involved trying to work out “whodunnit” and they are an easy read. I like John le Carre, particularly the Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy series. That involved paying attention. Both authors construct the characters well, the story lines are plausible and both lead the reader up the wrong path before you finally get it. I read Charles Dickens “A Tale of Two Cities” before Christmas. It was a struggle to begin with because the language and sentence construction is so different to modern novels. The first two or three chapters were hard going but it clicked into place then and it was worth the perseverance.

10. What is your least favourite animal?

Easy. Slugs. The slimy bastards keep eating my garden!

11. What advice would you give to your younger self?

Work hard, play hard, party hard. Never let the bastards grind you down. Be yourself.

Well, that little lot will now mean that people will think “What a berk” but never mind. I’m now supposed to make my own nominations but before I do, on some of the rules I read about the Liebster, it was said you should list 11 things about yourself. I may not list 11, but here are some things about me.

1. I’m right-handed, left footed and a left-handed kayaker.

2. In my late teens/early 20s, I was a kayaking instructor and raced white water racing C2s with my best mate at the time.

3. I started going grey at the age of 16.

4. I am short-sighted and wear contact lenses.

5. I don’t like Marmite.

6. I have no superpowers.

7. I am a Chelsea supporter, always have been, always will be. My dad was and my children and PIL are.

8. I am slightly red/green colour blind.

9. My favourite colour is green. Or is it blue?

10. Despite what my so-called friends claim, I did not fight at the Battle of Crecy in 1346!

11. I am now a non smoker.

Now for my nominations.

totaltimewaste Has more than 200 followers but there you go. written by a 17-year-old who seems to be obsessed with girls. Worth a look as it’s very funny

thecrumpettfiles I only found this blog a short while ago and I think it’s brilliant. The posts are quite short but without trying to be poncy, it’s like drinking elderflower cordial over ice on a hot summers day – totalling refreshing.

sunfartsandvagrainbows Should be approached with caution. Susie Sunfarts hates everything and everyone and isn’t scared to let you know! Profane,anarchic this blog is the antithesis of all others. While every other blogger on the planet was wishing everyone a Happy New Year, Susie was giving everyone the finger! She hates everyone from the guy who comes out every morning, starts his car and leaves it running to the “cheer up, look on the bright side” brigade. I think it’s great. The observations are very sharp and it’s all tongue in cheek. Or you think it is until you get to the last sentence or two and think, “Oh wow! I hope she doesn’t have access to firearms.”

My questions for my nominees:

1. What does your dream house look like?

2. What is your drink of choice?

3. If you could meet anyone in the world, who would it be?

4. If you had a superpower, what would it be?

5. What is your favourite food?

6.Who is your biggest inspiration?

7. Would you prefer to live in a big city, the suburbs or the countryside?

8. When you were 11 what did you want to be when you grew up?

9. What is your favourite colour?

10. How old am I?

11. What was the first record you ever bought?

Have a great day.

More Dick soon.

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Blogging

Every now and again, despite following 2HelpfulGuys, I get a bit down in the dumps. I’m rarely miserable for long as I tend towards looking on the bright side. In fact, one of the songs I want played at my funeral is Eric Idles version of “Always look on the bright side of life” along with “Gimme Shelter” by the Rolling Stones which I think is the best song ever, “Racing in the Street” by Bruce Springsteen and “Call Me the Breeze” by Lynyrd Skynyrd . Mostly I chose them as a) I like the songs and b) I think they tend to sum me up. Strangely, my favourites, Neil Young and Linkin Park (who I work out to) don’t feature. I hope they don’t get played together any time soon!

I’m going off at a tangent again aren’t I?

 

I was feeling a bit miserable because I was stuck. I was at a loss as to what to write about. So then I read through some of the blogs I follow and got depressed! They were so well written. Tessa at ‘Nothing was Said‘ expressed her excitement over her upcoming interview with the Peace Corps brilliantly. John at ‘Storytime with John’ described his first time skiing with such wit that I nearly wet myself laughing. Steve at BlogBloggerBloggest posted a letter to an 11-year-old that was so immense I actually applauded when I finished reading it. The ‘Chatty Rachel‘ produces prolific amounts of witty one liners and “helpful” suggestions to us blokes on how to increase our desirability to women that crack me up every time I read them. I felt my own writing attempts were crap in comparison. Then I think the sun came out and I realised my writing isn’t crap. It’s different to the blogs I’ve mentioned. I write about different things in a different way and that’s as it should be. I’ve only been blogging since November so I’m still new to it and while my first efforts are somewhat bloated in comparison to my later efforts, I can see an improvement in the way I write and what I write about. My blog is evolving and I’m pleased about that. So now I’m a happy bunny and I see I have many things to write about. If just one person smiles at something I’ve written, says “Too true bud” or even “Thats a load of rubbish you moron” then I’ve achieved what I set out to achieve. I got people to react to what I’m writing. Still have an issue with when and where to use commas and apostrophes though but I’m sure it will get better and hopefully I’ll be forgiven if I mess it up now and again.

 

My thanks to the people I’ve mentioned in this post. They are totally unaware of it but they have inspired me to continue and helped me past my block. I appreciate it.

The_fonz_thumbs_up

 

More Dick soon.

Have a truly inspirational day

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Protocols

I’m new to blogging and I’m amazed to find that other people are following my blog. I thank you all for taking the time to read my stuff. I appreciate it. I follow a number of other blogs such as rachelbeingchatty which now features 15% more sarcasm. It’s certainly sarcastic, very funny, the chatty rachel is prolific, it’s taught me that brevity is good and it just generally cracks me up. I also follow blogbloggerbloggest for entirely different reasons but it too has it’s humerous moments but tends to be more educational. For instance, did you know wasps teleport? Steve Morris, the author of this blog is also a very positive kind of guy. Despite all the mayhem and chaos in the world he was still able to list a whole bunch of reasons to be cheerful and I like that in a person. Then there’s Storytime with John, Nothing Was Said and 2HelpfulGuys plus others that I follow and enjoy. Now here’s the thing. Storytime with John has over 11,000 followers! John tries to follow all those who follow him. Great idea but it must take forever to do that. My question is if someone writing a blog reads yours and decides to follow you, do you therefore have to follow theirs? Am I obligated to return the favour? I don’t know. I don’t have a problem with following other blogs if thats what the done thing is but I’ve got to say that one or two of the blogs that have decided to follow me hold absolutely no interest for me whatsoever. That is not to say they are badly written or have no value. It’s just the subject matter that holds no interest for me. Much as I want to broaden my horizons there is only so much horizon I can take in.

So all you hugely experienced bloggers out there, please let me know what the protocol is. There are enough people out there ticked off with me already. I don’t want any more.

More of the old Dick soon.

Dick_Dastardly

Blogging

When I started this blog I had an idea whereby some of the posts that I publish are linked in some way to previous posts. There would be a thread connecting them. So, for instance, at the end of my first ever post, despite having no medical training, I offered advise on a specific medical condition. In my second ever post I wrote about my experience with that particular medical condition and at the end of it I again offered medical advise on another condition. My third post spoke about that and at the end of that post I offered financial advise and my fourth post was about how having children was economically disastrous. I then posted an email I had sent to my sister Boo some months ago and included a picture that looked nothing like her followed by a post about my sister again with a picture that looked nothing like her. And so on.

Nazz.1

Boo. My sister. She looks nothing like this either.

I thought I was being pretty clever with these threads passing through my posts but then I realised (and I admit to being very slow on the uptake here), that it was all nonsense. The latest post is shown first so if you come in half way through then you have absolutely no idea what I’m on about. Of course, it is possible to have the first post first if you see what I mean but that means you have to plough through loads of older posts you may have already read to get to the latest one. What am I to do? I have thought long and hard about this and finally, earlier today I decided what I’m going to do about it. Fuck all.

Have a great day.

More Dick soon

Dick_Dastardly