Sailing and the NHS

Quite a few months ago when I wrote my last post, I included this photograph:

I added the comment that some people when looking at it would think,




To which Claudette over at ceenoa added,

“Sea Sick”!

Something I hadn’t considered as I don’t suffer from it but Claudette does. (Take a wander over to her blog. She does stuff with stuff and makes wonderful stuff and her photographs are a joy. You will find it here)

Whereas when I look at that photograph I think,



“Women in wet tee shirts”

I must now add,


Yep, the day after we had gone sailing on ‘Jabberwocky’ while on holiday, I noticed a fairly large lump on the right side of my groin. I was fairly sure what it was but being a male of a certain age, I thought I’d get it checked out when we got home. I was going to go and see the Doc anyway as my right knee was giving me grief and was very painful.

So, on our return, I made an appointment for the following day and saw my GP. I explained, she asked me to straighten my leg and had a poke about and told me I had arthritis. She then looked at my groin, had another poke about and informed me I did indeed have a hernia. She printed off a form and told me to go to the walk-in x-ray clinic at the local hospital where they would x-ray my knee to confirm her diagnosis and in the meantime expect a letter for an appointment to have my hernia checked out. So, off I went, had my x-ray (how good is that? I was back home within 30 minutes of leaving the Docs). A week later, two letters arrived. One informed me that I did indeed have arthritis in my knee and to contact the hospital for an appointment for physio. The other letter was from the very Harry Potterish sounding ‘Department of Hernias, Lumps and Bumps asking me to attend for an examination.

I duly rocked up at the hospital for my examination. Now for some reason, I had got it into my head that my knee was going to be examined so I was somewhat surprised when I was asked to drop my shorts! That’s why I was wearing shorts, so I wouldn’t have to drop them, not that I’m shy.

I carried out a quick mental check:

Freshly showered? Yep

Clean underwear? Yep

Neat and tidy gentleman’s garden? Yep

Good to go.

My Mum would have been proud.

I dropped my shorts, lay down and was examined. It was an ultrasound examination as used on pregnant women. It would establish that I had a hernia for certain, exactly where it was and how big. The woman carrying out the examination explained what I had to do. I had to make like a puffer fish and inflate my cheeks and push down towards my groin.

While I did this she would use the ultra sound thingy to examine the area.

The examination commenced. The result of all this cheek inflation and pushing down and prodding with probes was that I farted.

It was not discreet!

“Oh”, I squeaked, feeling dreadfully embarrassed, “I am so sorry.”

“That’s ok Dick” said the woman. ” It happens all the time. Curry last night was it?”

“As it happens, yes it was” I replied blushing, while out of the corner of my eye I saw the other woman in the room switch on her desk fan!

“Thought so” said the first woman as she wander over to the window and opened it!

“I am still here y’know” I said feeling even more embarrassed and somewhat flustered.

“Yes Dick, we know” she said “and so is something else.”

I gave up then. There was no point arguing. Two women in a room with a man who had just dropped his guts! No contest really.

As I left and walked down the corridor after the examination was completed, all I could hear was gales of laughter coming from the room I had just left. Buggers!

The up shot of this was that at the beginning of January, I went to the K&C Hospital as a day patient, had key hole surgery on my hernia and was back home later that day feeling just fine but under strict instructions not to lift anything and not to drive for a week or two. I did as I was told and returned to work two weeks later. The NHS and the staff in particular is just bloody wonderful.

I am currently rethinking my plans to become a sailor. I really don’t want to go through that again and it is likely to happen if I start hoisting sails and stuff. Something gentler I think. Learning French is still on the cards but now perhaps I should take up photography again and maybe start a vlog. I will keep you informed.

Have a great day.

More Dick soon.


14 responses to “Sailing and the NHS

  1. Department of Hernias, bumps and lumps?? You made that up right?! πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Very funny as usual. Amazed that you got a doctor’s appt for the next day. Jammy devil! X

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you. If you phone first thing you can normally get an appointment the same day at our GP. How is your field shelter? I got rid of messenger as it was a pain but accidentally saw it on Facetube. I hope you are both well. xxx


  3. Oh dear. I feel for you. I had a hernia some ten years ago. Being a man, I spent some weeks hoping it would go away. It didn’t. They only get worse if you leave them unattended. I had it fixed, like you. Ouch.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It wasn’t exactly painful, just uncomfortable. Apparently in 95% of cases, it’s fine but in the other 5%, it can get strangulated which is incredibly painful and potentially deadly. I just knew which percentage would apply to me!
      Hope you are well and enjoyed your birthday.


  4. Oh Dick (I just love saying that), Oh Dick, thank you so much for the shout out to my blog – I’ts really nice when that happens – top bloke you!

    The really nice part about this post s that it made me smile (I was feeling pretty gloomy, not sure why) and this cheered me right up. No, not that you got a hernia, just the way you write gives me smiles.

    I’m glad you’re all fied on the hernia side of things now, and yes, maybe hoisting the mainsa’l is not for you. But I look forward to a vlog, or some photos from you.

    Much warm wishes from Oz.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad it made you smile and cheered you up. That’s the whole point really, getting someone to smile makes my day.
      As for your blog, I think its great and people should know that. I have been reading all your posts but as I’ve been busy it’s been a case of “I’ll comment/like that later when I have a mo”. But mo never came until much later.
      Later girlie

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Department of Hernias, bumps and lumps? That’s like naming the breast clinic ‘The Department Of Boob, Baps And Sweater Stretchers.’ Or the Gynaecology department…on second thoughts, I better leave that comment there…
    Funny as always Mr D!

    Liked by 1 person

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