This dieting malarky seems to have had some unfortunate side effects. Not only have my belly and arse shrunk but other parts of my anatomy have too. I understand that parts of a blokes body shrink in the cold. I was doing a”proper bloke” thing earlier and was scratching my balls and remember thinking,
“Hmmm. Smaller than I recall. I hope it’s cos it’s cold. I could do without testicular shrinkage right now.”
My work colleague, Banzai, was able to confirm it was the freezing weather rather than my age or diet. Thank God for that!
I hasten to add that much as he would have liked to, Banzai didn’t actually physically check me out.
No, it wasn’t that problem that concerned me.
I took some selfies the other day for reasons I no longer remember. I looked at them today and on looking at one I thought
“Bloody hell! My ears are big! I’m sure they were never that large.”
I concluded that my ears aren’t really that big but rather, due to my rabbit and guinea pig food diet allied with the chimp food for lunch, my bloody head has shrunk as well as well as my gut! Bugger!
Just for a change I thought you would like to see a more realistic photo of Dick Dastardly.
Have a brilliant day.
More Dick soon.
iplonker 
Aren’t things supposed to get larger with age?
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Are they? I wish that were the case!
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Apparently appendages like your nose and ears grower larger…not sure about anything else…
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I can assure you that no other bits grow any larger. If anything, the damned things start to wear away! Fortunately my reading glasses magnify everything so I tend to be blissfully unaware!
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By the way, someone recently informed me that my nostrils seemed to have got larger. So much so that walking up to me was like approaching the Dartford Tunnel! Nice. Did wonders for my self esteem
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Ears definitely get bigger with age. Not sure why, just an observation. A word on selfies – stick to ears, not more private areas, especially anything likely to shrink in cold weather 🙂
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Hahaha. Don’t worry I won’t be taking selfies of any other parts of my anatomy!!! Are you sure it’s ears growing and not my head shrinking?
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