I have absent from the blogging world for a little while and I’ve just realised how long it’s been since I posted anything since returning from my holidays. I’ve knocked out a couple since then in the mista…
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. I’ve just realised what I have written! “Knocked out a couple”…..? What must you be thinking of me? That I sit in front of my screen having a Jodrell while waiting for inspiration to strike? Hahahahaha.
Jodrell Bank
Rest assured that I don’t. You’ll have to take my word for it though.
Work has been manic since my return and we have a new task that has been proving to be a bit of a nightmare. I always love it when my boss phones up and says;
“Houston. We have a problem, don’t you”!!!
My Boss
It always means that the soft brown stuff has hit the fan and it’s heading in my general direction.
Anyway, that aside I did intend writing about the progress, or lack of it, in my garden but I’m in Wales for the next few days looking after my sisters smallholding
Boo & Guptas smallholding taken from the fields towards the house
and all her critters and crops.
There are three horses,
a dozen ducks,
a large, indeterminate number of chickens (they’re always scuttling about making it impossible for me to count them)
This chicken is called “Mrs Bogbrush”
and a labrador called Chalky
Chalky. Along with his favourite balls
along with a semi feral cat called Morgan.
Morgan
Plus all kinds of fruit and vegetables to take care of.
By the time Boo and her husband Gupta get back from their holidays, I suspect there may be slightly fewer animals to deal with!
It’s lovely here and it’s been some years since I’ve been in this part of the world and it was really pleasant to be driving along and recognising village names from back in the day when I was in Wales most weekends for canoe races.
I might just take a wander down to some of them for a look-see and remember my long-lost youth. In the meantime though, I’m busy feeding animals, clearing out hen houses, shovelling up horse muck and picking raspberries, strawberries, aubergines and that kind of stuff. It’s bloody brilliant!
Boo and Gupta live on the edge of a small village not far from the coast. All the locals seem to be called by their job names as their real surnames are all Jones. Or it might be Evans or Jenkins or some other Welsh surname. So the bloke who delivers logs for the wood burners that everyone has is called Dickie Log, the school cook is Betty Cook, the carpenter is called Dai Saer (Saer being Welsh for Carpenter) and his wife is called Betty Dai Saer. The landlady of the local pub, The Commercial Inn, is run by a lady called Betty Commercial. There’s another bloke called Dai Buns who may be a baker but may not and the guy who keeps all the roadside hedges trimmed is called Eaun Hedge!!! The local farmer is called John Ty Mawr (Ty Mawr is Welsh for Home Farm) and so it goes on. Boo and Gupta are called Boo and Gupta Wyndarra because the name of their smallholding is Wyndarra! Wyndarra being Australian but that’s just like my sister to put a spanner in the works! Apparently, most of the women (of a certain age) are named Betty as that was the name of the midwife who delivered them all. Electricity arrived in the village in 1963 and some of the inhabitants here remember revising for their school exams by candle light! The Interweb is unbelievably slow and it is taking me bloody ages to download the photographs I’ve taken but do you know what? I think it fantastic here. Boo and Gupta (so-called because of his love of curry. Also known as “Stink” when he’s had a curry!) dreamt about having this life for many, many years and they achieved it 6 years ago and I envy them. It’s not easy but it is plain to see that they are living the dream.
I have to go give the clucks their afternoon feed now, so on with my wellies (I brought them along in case I found any stray sheep!) and off into the fields, the fresh air, the rain and the wind to feed the animals and think some thoughts.
Have a smashing day.
More Dick soon.
iplonker 
I have a friend in Australia, who gave up a good and prosperous life in the city to own a farm. Hard work and 5am wake ups and he’s the happiest that he has ever been. I envy him. Also, I might take a trip to Wales and kidnap Chalky. The only thing that might stop my evil deed, is ZOMBIE CHICKEN! What in the name of Morgan is that thing?!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Chalky is as daft as a brush! He wanders around with two or three balls permanently in his mouth and from time to time he’ll drop them at your feet for you to throw and him to fetch. This goes on for hours!
As for the zombie chicken, I just happened across that photo on the interweb. It’s amazing what you can find. A bunch of us were sitting around drinking beer (as you do) and googling any odd or bizarre thing that came into our slightly addled heads. Skeletons having sex is a good one!
Not quite 5am starts here. Let the chickens and ducks out and feed them, make sure they have water, feed Chalky and Morgan, check the horses and have a cup of tea. I went out to do all that at 8. Got to muck the buggers out later though. Fantastic
LikeLiked by 1 person
Heehee, love the picture with Chalky with those balls. He is absolutely adorable. Gonna skip that whole part about skeletons having sex. Just gonna go right ahead and pretend I didn’t even read it. You sure that was beer you guys were drinking and not crack in a can?
Spent a week on a farm shoveling massive lumps of poop and feeding the animals. LOVED IT!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I bet you Googled it really! If I ever mention it, people go “Ewww” then look it up! My point being that there is all kinds of stuff on the intertube and I never cease to be amazed at the bizarre crap you can find. There are some sick bunnies out there. Long may they continue to clog up the web with their deviant thoughts.
Just got back in from giving the critters their afternoon feed followed by throwing balls for Chalky for an HOUR. Now he’s got the serious hump because we stopped.
I must say that feeding the animals, wandering around checking they have clean water (ducks are messy buggers), clearing out hen houses and just taking in the views, the fresh air and feeling the wind in my face is marvellous.I may not leave! I will post again shortly about what a wonderful way of life this is.
LikeLike
Sometimes, I’m actually scared to go on the intertube. The worst part is that I have an addictive personality, so once I click, I can’t stop. Then the next thing you know, I’m watching clips about a Weebl character asking if I like nipples, unicorns on the way to Candy Mountain, where one of them gets their kidney stolen and a man singing about how amazing his horse is, while a woman licks said horse and says that it “tastes just like raisin.”
The last dog I had, Louis, was a bit of a numpty. You’d throw the bloody ball and he would just watch it flying through the sky and then look all confused when it didn’t come back of it’s on accord. Spawn and I would like, “Fetch Louis, fetch,” and Louis would be all, “what is this fetch that you speak of?”
Ooh, just remember to include plenty of pics of the farm.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Now that is some weird shit you’re looking at. Skeleton sex is tame in comparison to your interweb viewing! You’re right though. There is some seriously disturbed people putting seriously disturbed shit on the ‘tube.
Chalky is a lovely dog. As long as he gets fed, his tummy is scratched at least 35 times a day and you throw all of his balls for an hour or so each day, he’s happy. He has just sat on my foot!
There will be lots of pictures, rest assured of that. All the animals are in their respective lodgings now and once Chalky gets off my foot I can can put both feet up before sleepy time.
Have a lovely evening
LikeLiked by 1 person